Do Not Let Your Victory Defeat You

Allow me to share a story.

There was once a prince, born to a wealthy and powerful family. The kingdom was riddled with crime, however and one day, a thief broke into the palace and murdered the prince’s parents in front of his eyes. Hurt, confused and afraid, the boy passed through his youth bitter and resentful of the world. When he turned 18, he abdicated his family’s wealth and left his kingdom behind, traveling to far off lands in search of what peace the universe might bring him.

After much time wandering, the prince stumbled upon a warrior cult who offered to bring him in and train him in their ways of discipline, strength and justice. It would take years, but he would gain much power and wisdom. Long and hard as it may be, this path would allow him to eventually return to his kingdom and battle the injustice that shattered his life years prior.

As the young prince grew into a man, he trained hard and learned the warriors' way. He learned how to fight. He learned how to outthink his enemies, he developed cunning, conquered his fear of the world and eventually, even learned how to perform magic.

When he returned to his kingdom, he began his life’s work to bring order to his kingdom, now overrun by chaos from his absence. He faced thieves, murderers, crime lords, and full-blown psychopaths. Despite his foes, he was focused, engaged and passionate, driven by the ideal of justice, love of his kingdom, and a vow to ensure that no young boy would experience the pain he had as a youth.

One by one, he defeated these foes and became a great hero. Word of his name spread far and wide. Many villains tested his fortitude, but no one was a match for his power, intelligence or clever skills in magic. While it was a difficult life, full of sacrifice and challenge, passion and duty carried him onward. Eventually, the hero became so strong that the villains started to disappear and after some time, there were none left.

The hero’s kingdom, seemingly saved, became peaceful and stories of his glory proliferated throughout the land. With no more crime, however, the kingdom no longer had a need for a savior. Search as he might, the hero could find no criminal to face him. Left without purpose, he disappeared into hiding.

At first, the hero maintained his strength, training daily for many hours in case another villain should arise. Eventually however, none did and his memories of the formidable foes he once faced faded into a distant memory. He forgot what it was like to be challenged, suffer and sacrifice. He stopped training and instead began to finally relax and enjoy the peace. As he grew older he became more content, proud of the peace he had brought to his land. 10 years passed like this: The hero’s world, a peaceful paradise. The hero, a wilting warrior.

Eventually however a rumor of a new villain arose. This villain had been raised on hatred and fear. He had just one objective: to destroy the kingdom and bring back chaos once again. When the hero caught wind of this new villain, he was delighted at the opportunity to face him and set out to regain his former glory.

The villain however was cunning. He had heard the stories of the hero’s great power. Because of this, the villain had been quietly building strength and power over the past 10 years, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike.

The hero eventually tracked down the villain at his lair and now faced his enemy in the flesh for the first time. Little did he know, however, that it was a trap. Filled with hubris of his past success and excitement to once again face a challenge, the hero rushed first quickly, attacking with all his strength. Punching, kicking, and flailing vigorously for the first time in many years, the hero attacked with all his might. He had grown weak, however, having lost his edge after years of idle complacency, forgetting what it was like to face a formidable foe.

The villain, momentarily confused by the pathetic attacks, deflected them with ease. Quickly realizing that his foe’s once profuse power was gone, the Villain, bewildered, made an astute observation.

“Peace has cost your strength.”, He said to the hero. “Victory has defeated you!”

The Hero, realizing the trouble he was now in danger, tried different strategies. First letting loose all his power in a fit of rage, he pushed himself to his limits physically as if he were the man he once was. His body however, withered from years of inaction, could not keep up with the speed and power of the villain. He then tried imploring magic and deception, tactics that had never before failed. Once again, however, the villain was prepared, and unperturbed.

The villain, realizing his victory was all but won, taunted and toyed with the hero. He caught each of his pitiful attacks and returned with his own, twice as powerful, slowly degrading the hero’s spirit, demonstrating his superiority.

Eventually, the villain grew bored of playing games, and proceeded to end the fight in one foul blow: a snap to the hero’s spine, leaving him maimed and helpless. Instead of killing him however, he let the hero live and threw him into a pit to slowly rot and witness his kingdom be destroyed.

A Familiar Story

For any DC Comic fans, you might recognize this (loosely adapted) story. The hero is Bruce Wayne. A once hurt and confused “prince” who found purpose and strength to become Batman, and save his “kingdom”, Gotham City, from the crime that once infested it. The villain is Bane, a man raised in darkness and hatred, quietly hiding in the shadows for years and building his strength before striking.

Batman, a once great hero, became too successful for his own good. He defeated all the villains who faced him and eventually forgot what it was like to struggle. Peace lasted in Gotham for a long time, yet it came at a cost to Batman. His strength and his purpose waned. While Batman rested on his laurels, Bane built his strength. Operating in the shadows he honed his skills and lured Batman into a trap, catching him off guard, and breaking him, an easy victory.

Batman loses the battle, a victim to his own success.

Trapped Like Bats

The characters are of course fictitious, but the story is all too familiar. As we pass through phases of our life, we start off passionate, focused and hungry. The foes we must overcome are clear: discipline, hard work, pursuit.

We pulled all-nighters to get good grades so that we could land a good job. We trained hard everyday in the gym for 6 months to lose 10 lbs of fat. We bought flowers, and cooked amazing meals for our dream partners when we first started dating.

We eventually achieve “enough” success by either societal or our own standards, and we start to ease off the gas. We get comfortable in our work, health and relationships. We no longer need to struggle to survive. We have brought peace to our kingdom, and quickly forget what the chase is even like.

Our prior foes fade and become obfuscated and our inner voice tells us it’s okay to ease off.

“I already got a job at this great company and have it on my resume. I can take a break from developing skills”

“I hit my goal of losing 10 lbs. I’m going to let loose on the diet and cruise for the next few months.”

“I’m dating my dream partner, so I don’t have to try as hard anymore to make him / her feel special”

Performed enough times, this way of thinking starts to become a habit.

Without clear resistence, our competitive edge is slowly lost. Like Batman, we drift into a weakened, albeit comfortable, state while a new foe slowly gains strength. This foe is not a scary looking, jacked assassin with a mask. This foe is much less scary, but just as deadly.

This foe is simple complacency. Like Bruce Wayne, lying idle in his mansion for 10 long years, we slowly lose our edge, and when our complacency finally catches up to us, it feels like we too were lured into a trap.

We get laid off and realize that we’re not as marketable of an employee as we had thought. We gained back 10 lbs, are bloated and sleeping like crap. We wake up one day and realize our days are filled with fights with our partners or simple boredom with the relationship.

Like a wilted hero after years of inaction, we might try to flail out aggressively to fix it overnight, but we’re in no shape to do so. We cycle through fad diets. We lose all self-confidence in our careers and start to blame other people. We act needy with our partner or do the opposite and push them further away. Sometimes we too try to implore “magic” by tricking ourselves, searching for distractions in Netflix, expensive shopping trips or lavish vacations to mask a deep seeded unhappiness.

The problem with these tactics is that months or years of complacency cannot be fixed overnight. Nor can we trick ourselves into being happy or fulfilled by buying nice things or distracting ourselves with modern luxuries. These serve as temporary distractions but deep down we know that our emptiness is unfazed by these pitiful ploys to defeat it.

We then wake up, years later, unhealthy, with the same job and a crappy relationship wondering why we feel unhappy and unfulfilled.

What To Do

Is my point that we can never relax? That we should never be content, never celebrate victories and never take time off? Of course not. Recovery and celebration are a critical part of making progress. But done unintentionally, they are dangerous.

What life teaches us again and again is that the top of the mountain is not where joy and fulfillment are found. Rather, it’s the climb itself. Balance, then, is found between contentment and ambition, a never-ending struggle between two opposing forces.

Redemption

As superhero tales go, we know the story does not end with Batman dead in a pit. Having been broken, Batman wallows in defeat in the pit for a while. After some time, however, he finally remembers what it’s like to struggle and his warrior spirit starts to come back. It takes him years to just stand again to heal his spine, but with consistent, daily dedication, and the help of others, he eventually is able to regain and even surpasses his previous strength. With a renewed drive, fresh with the memory of defeat and driven by purpose once again, he escapes the pit, tracks down his nemesis and defeats Bane.

In the end Batman succeeded, but his initial mistake was that he failed to realize that the very thing that he set out to destroy is that which made him great in the first place. Without a bad guy, without resistance, he was not Batman, he was just Bruce Wayne.

So whatever it is that you want to spend your life doing, whether it’s fighting crime or simply existing in a happy relationship, train everyday. Seek out healthy adversaries and challenges that will keep you sharp and test your limits. In this manner you will sharpen your mind, body and spirit in a way that only a formidable foe can elicit.

Success is a good thing. Celebrate it. Take time to rest, relax and recover, but be wary to not let victory defeat you and do not let it cost you your strength. Seek the battlegrounds, for it is there, and only there that we can transform from ordinary people into great heroes.

P. S. I highly recommend you watch this clip that inspired this post, which also happens to be my favorite superhero battle of all time.